I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it:

“Oh, I could never leave my kids.”

“I could never spend that kind of money on myself.”

“I could never just go away for a week.”

And every time, I want to say, you’re probably the one who needs it most.

Because here’s the thing: loving time with your family and loving time for yourself are not opposites. I adore spending time with my husband and kids. I love the chaos, the in-jokes, the lazy Saturday mornings, the weekends spent taxi-ing my kids all over town (well maybe not that bit). But I also love having time where I’m just me. Not mum, not wife, not organiser of 400 after-school clubs. Just me.

Having a family doesn’t mean pressing pause on the parts of you that existed before. It doesn’t mean you don’t get to travel, to laugh until your stomach aches, to sit quietly with a book and a cocktail, or to try something new just because it makes you happy. There’s room for it all, both with the family and without.

And isn’t that the lesson we want our kids to see? That women don’t always have to come last. That mums can have adventures of their own. That it’s okay to be completely devoted to your family and still carve out time to be yourself.

So no, booking a retreat isn’t selfish. It’s not indulgent. It’s reminding yourself you’re still in there, underneath the roles you play every day. Because if you never choose yourself, what are you showing the people you love most?

I want my girls to grow up knowing the world is theirs to explore. To believe it’s possible, that they don’t need permission, and that they don’t have to wait for someone else to say “let’s go.” Yes, it’s amazing to share adventures with people you love but I want them to know they’re strong enough to go it alone too. And that becoming a mum doesn’t mean giving up who you are.

That belief comes from my own mum. She didn’t have the opportunities I’ve had to travel, but she always made sure we knew they were out there. She encouraged us to be independent, to work hard and but never to lose ourselves in the process. She showed us that anything was possible. And that’s the message I want to pass on to my girls.

Because here’s the truth: booking the retreat, taking the trip, saying yes to yourself it isn’t about running away from your life. It’s about stepping back into it with more energy, more joy, more of you.

And if you catch yourself saying “I could never”… maybe that’s the sign you need it the most.